To Say No!!
TO SAY NO!!
I have been hearing from friends, cousins — people who know me really well that I don’t say “NO” or I don’t know how to say “NO”.
Even though this has been my new year resolution blah blah for a half a dozen times, for one or the other reason I fall back into the same old ME. So what is it that is wrong? Why do I simply smile and nod and say yes while the actual reaction has to be WHAT!! NO WAY!! Definitely not!! Oh no, I can’t!
Do a lot of people have this kind of problem or am I just the stupid one!? Do not know the answer to it. But I am definitely one among that population …. So I headed to think the — why when where….did this start…I think it started with the introspection of assessing my short temper and looking for perfection in people, Things, situations… and then slowly I kept telling myself perhaps I should tone down not good and things and there! I reached a place where I kept smiling pretty and nodding my head and initially I thought it avoided a lot of issues, fights, irritations but then I came so far that I had to do another introspection to bring myself out of that mode.
Now — identifying a problem I did it on my own…. And then I slept on it L L I know, sounds sick! but then that’s true…. Like the famous one-liner — I love work; I can sit and stare at it for hours… Exactly the same applies only that I do Identify a problem and then simply keep worrying about it rather than fixing it!! Procrastination! Typical ME!! But then a friend said please stand up and voice out your issues and get it over with rather than just taking things that you don’t want to be a part of! Closer circle said the same…. And people who don’t know me well said the same! That is when I realized that it was the last bell and I had to fix it or get stuck like that forever.
Now before worrying about anything else I begin to think I panic about things when it comes from strangers/people who are more like acquaintances, don’t really know me well. The reason why I panic is not only because someone figured it out but also for the fact that I am becoming understandable, readable, predictable to people who are not in the close circle and makes me feel like the masquerade I wear was removed and my face was seen by the generic audience! That’s the feeling I have! Don’t know why though… I would like to openly talk to, joke about, share a secret with the close bunch and raise the guards around me otherwise…. Guess a lot of people do that or am one among those silly ones.
I wonder if couples, close friends, siblings, and companions of all types have that kind of a problem. That they spend so much time together / get to know each other so well that after some time the whole relationships become totally predictable, but then what is wrong with predictability?
Guess predictable is like monotonous jobs! Gets boring eventually and if you don’t fix it soon you will end up not knowing why you are there! And that’s disastrous!
I don’t know what people do when they enter this phase. But at the moment I need to think about what I should do about this. So, coming back to the issue at hand “NO” — I guess I am doing it little by little. Like earlier I would simply nod if a friend asked me to accompany her somewhere or the blah blah blah nowadays I do take a minute to think about my schedule and possible personal things to do at that time. The reason for that behavior is because I have been dumb enough to say yes to too many things that I would have promised different things to different people like saying yes to go to a movie and then saying yes to stay home too! While it is not the mistake of either of the parties involved the culprit is good old “ME” :)
There !! I said it! Not that bad! At least now I am slowly working on it… hope to be better at it J
Ok! But what about the predictability/monotony part??? HMMMM I would want to think some more…. :)a
